Penelope (2006): 1/5
I can write about this movie with these four words: “Much ado about nothing”. But these four words remain completely understated in this 2006 Reese Witherspoon-produced beauty-and-the-beast tale of an heiress born with a pig nose. Perhaps it’s the director’s fault for making this supposed fairy tale/comedy into its complete opposite. A rather bland-ish tasteless blend of romance, magic, and paper-thin everything, Penelope successfully passes the 1-hour mark without establishing anything that even resembles a story. Dull and lifeless scenes go about the title character and the shaggy haired James McAvoy as they suck out all the spirit and magic we’ve been promised all throughout (wait for the atrocious “The magic was inside of me” part in the end).
While the best thing about this movie, by far was Peter Dinklage, I had been convinced that everyone and everything else in this movie had a sort of magical upside- so magical that it seems like we’ve fallen into a delirium that anything is possible except for this movie to pick up pace. Doesn’t make sense? Neither does this movie. Ha ha